imagesEvery 2 hours I check my sugar. Every 2 hours its too high.

Every time I eat I count the carbs, calculatethe ratio, inject.

2 hours later. Too damn high. What did i do wrong?  Inject again.

Maybe my ratio is too low. Maybe I need to increaseit. So on my own I do. I inject an extra unit or 2 the next time. I check it 2 hours later. Too high. Inject again.  Oh I forgot the diet Gatorade that has a few carbs in it. 7 per serving. I only had a sip. Maybe that was it? Im not sure.

I do what I did at lunch for dinner. Sugar crash. Too damn low. What the hell?!

I take my Lantus for the night. Sugar crash at 4 am.

I wake up in the morning. Its a little too high but below 200. Ok but not good enough.

The roller-coaster all day every day all night every night.

Chasing the numbers.

Just for a decent A1C reading. Just so the Drs will be proud. Just so the Endo doesnt look at us sideways. Just so we dont have to hear that we are being non-compliant. Just so we dont get the bloody hell of complications. Just so we dont feel miserable. Just so we dont feel like a failure.

This isnt my fault. Yet every 2 hours I feel like it is. I didnt ask for this but I am in charge.

Right?! Arent I?!